October 25, 2007

In-Court Acknowledgment of Divorce Settlement Becomes "Electronic Signature"

Here is a curious case. A divorce settlement calling for a transfer of real property is read into the record on the day set for trial. Both parties orally acknowledge the settlement in court, and the court's reporter duly transcribes their remarks. However, one party later refuses to sign the agreement. She claims, among other things, that enforcement of the settlement agreement would be unlawful because state law requires a writing to transfer real property.

The Kansas Court of Appeals recently entertained this argument and rejected it, remarking along the way' that an electronic signature was created in the trial judge's courtroom, thereby satisfying the state-law requirement of a writing for real property transactions.

The court said this was so because Kansas had adopted the Uniform Electronic Transactions Act. Under UETA -- with some exceptions that aren't relevant here -- qualifying digital records, sounds, symbols, you-name-it, will be treated as 'writings' if a writing is required by state law. UETA, the court said, 'probably' makes the electronically produced record of the divorce litigant's in-court statement the legal equivalent of a written signature:

The record does not disclose the type of equipment used by the court reporter, but it would be quite rare today for a court reporter's equipment not to at least require electricity. The UETA deems records generated by electronic means, including the use of electrical or digital magnetic capabilities, to be electronic records.

In order for a record to qualify as an electronic signature, a party must also adopt the record 'with the intent to sign.' The court doesn't make much of an effort to explain how the litigant in this case 'adopted ... with the intent to sign' the court reporter's record of her remarks. Apparently, it was enough that the litigant uttered aloud her acknowledgment of the divorce settlement that had been recited in open court. '[A]ssuming that the court reporter's equipment was consistent with modern practice, it would appear that the electronic capture of Mieko's oral assent that this was the agreement would satisfy the statute of frauds.

The case is In re Marriage of Takusagawa, No. 95,508 (Kan. Ct.App. Sept. 7, 2007)

SOURCE FOR POST: E-Commerce and Tech Law Blog

September 24, 2007

Clients Benefit From Fixed Fees in Family Law Cases

The South Carolina Family Law Blog posted his reasons for flat fees in family law cases today. In doing so, he gave us some of the benefits clients receive from hiring attorneys for a fixed fee:

  • Clients know the total cost up front, which enables them to determine prior to retaining the attorney whether or not they can afford his/her services and to budget for the attorney's fees and costs.'
  • Clients have another basis upon which to compare attorneys, both in the manner they charge for their services (fixed fee vs. hourly) as well as the amount charged ($X vs. $Y).
  • Clients never end up in fee disputes with their attorneys, because all fees were negotiated and agreed upon before the representation began.
  • This method encourages open communication from the client to the attorney.' In hourly billing situations, clients sometimes hesitate to provide information to the attorney because they know that they will incur fees and costs for doing so.
  • Clients have a higher level of trust with their lawyers, which results in a better working relationship, which frequently yields better outcomes in the clients' cases.

I could not agree more. I have been doing flat fee cases in my family law practice for at least 3 years now. It really does work better for both the client and attorney.

Source for Post: South Carolina Family Law Blog.

September 22, 2007

Kansas Receives Grant for Supervised Visitation Program

Children are still vulnerable to family violence even after separation from abusive situations

Kansas has received a $400,000 grant from the U. S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women. via KAKE-TV Wichita

Source for Post: Kansas - Topix.net.

September 19, 2007

How to Hire the Right Divorce Attorney

Too many people don't know what to look for when they are considering which divorce lawyer to hire.' Most people who are interviewing family law attorneys are in a very stressful situation, typically one that they have not been in before.' Making an important decision during a particularly stressful time can be a recipe for disaster.

DivorceZone published an article that can be helpful to people facing this situation.' This article points out that not all lawyers are created equal, and I would add that not every lawyer is 'right' for every case.' It is more important in family law cases than other cases that the attorney and the client have a good, working relationship and understand each other.' This article lists the following important points to consider when hiring a divorce lawyer:

  • Specialization. The reality is that the law is extremely complicated and no lawyer, not even a so-called ‘general practitioner’ can really master more than one or two main areas of law. Divorce law itself grows more and more complicated each year. You should choose a lawyer who practices primarily or exclusively in the area of divorce and family law.
  • Knowledge. Given the high hourly rate you’ll be paying your divorce lawyer, you don’t want to have to pay to give your lawyer a legal education. You want a lawyer with substantial knowledge in divorce and family law issues, who already knows the law and how it applies to your situation.
  • Experience. There are a lot of complexities to divorce law that you can’t simply learn from a book. For instance, often being able to determine the correct range of alimony that’s appropriate in your case is simply the result of seeing many cases with similar facts. While every divorce case has its unique twists, you will come out ahead if your lawyer has substantial experience.
  • Good Communication. The biggest beef clients have with divorce lawyers is that their lawyer does not return their telephone calls, emails or other communications promptly. You should find out what a prospective divorce lawyer’s office policy on this. Also, see how long it takes for your prospective lawyer to return your initial call - this will give you a good idea as to the level of service you can expect.
  • Local Knowledge. Part of the job of a divorce lawyer is to know the attitudes of the local judges and how best to tailor your case for them. As well, even if you never set foot inside a courtroom, it is helpful if the lawyer has experience dealing with your spouse’s divorce lawyer.
  • Time. Does the divorce lawyer limit his practice to just a few select cases so that he can concentrate on his clients and give them good service, or do they take all clients who walk through their doors? The reality is that the amount of work to resolve successfully the issues arising from a divorce can be quite substantial, and your lawyer will need the time to deal with this.
  • Fit. It’s important that you and your divorce lawyer get along well. This doesn’t mean that you have to be good buddies with your divorce lawyer and want to invite them to dinner. However, you’ll be going through some of the most difficult experiences in your life with this person. You’ll be revealing some of the most intimate details of your personal and financial situation to this person. Your relationship with this person will last quite a long time. So, it’s important that you’re comfortable with your divorce lawyer.
  • Compassion. It’s important that your divorce lawyer be understanding of what you’re going through. Are you just a file number, or does your lawyer really care who you are and what you want?
  • Independent. Ultimately, your divorce lawyer’s job is to fight for you and your rights. However, many lawyers have political ambitions or care more about getting along with other lawyers than giving zealous representation. You want an independent lawyer so that your needs are not sacrificed so that your lawyer can avoid irritating a colleague.
  • Plan of Action. Is your divorce lawyer able to articulate a plan of action that they are going to take to resolve your case? If not, you will find that your case just seems to amble in no particular direction, raising your legal fees without accomplishing much.

    Source for Post: South Carolina Family Law Blog.

August 22, 2007

Your Questions and Comments

ImagesFirst of all let me just say how much I appreciate you the reader of the Kansas Family and Divorce Lawyer. Some of you even post comments and questions. While I may not post the comments on the site, I do read everyone of them.

Some of you also post questions. I might suggest that instead of posting a question as a comment that you email me directly at gdgrifflaw@mac.com That way you and I both know I will get your question and I can respond to you directly.

August 11, 2007

Oklahoma Adoption Law Held Unconsitutional

The United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit has upheld a district court judgment that a state law barring recognition of adoptions by same-sex couples already finalized in another state is unconstitutional. The case involved three same-sex couples who had adopted children in other states.' These three families brought suit against the state of Oklahoma seeking to enjoin enforcement of the adoption amendment, naming the governor, attorney general and commissioner of health in their official capacities.' The court held that 'final adoption orders by a state court of competent jurisdiction are judgments that must be given full faith and credit under the Constitution by every other state in the nation. Because the Oklahoma statute at issue categorically rejects a class of out-of-state adoption decrees, it violates the Full Faith and Credit Clause.

Finstuen v. Crutcher (US App 10th Cir. August 3, 2007)
Opinion online' (last visited August 10, 2007 bgf)


Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.

August 06, 2007

Saving for an Emergency Fund

As I have mentioned here in this blog and more times than I can count to my clients, one of the areas married couples argue about is money. There are really three, money, children and the other one we won't mention. But, in my own experience, money is the one that usually causes more problems than the other two. Let me just say, I am just as guilty on this one as you are.

First of all, we don't communicate about money. We have to talk to our spouse openly about money. Both spouses should feel free to talk about their concerns and fears. And BOTH spouses should have an equal say in how YOUR money is spent, saved and invested. Remember one thing, when you got married you were two who became one. When one spouse takes total control of the money in the household and keeps the other in the dark, problems arise.

Spending, saving and investing should be done as a partnership. If done that way, fewer problems will come up. And by doing this, we take one of the causes of divorce out of the picture.

To help start the conversation going, there is a great list of things you can do to create an emergency fund. Check out 28 ways to save for an emergency fund. And talk about it.

August 01, 2007

How Will My Divorce Affect My Credit?

Ask the Advisor has a very good post concerning divorce and credit. I am not going to paste the article here. I am however, going to provide a link to the post. It is called, How Will My Divorce Affect My Credit? While you are there check out some of the other information contained in Ask the Advisor.

July 20, 2007

Wife’s student debt is costing husband -- Injured Spouse

Here is a great Q&A from Bankrate.com. The advise in the answer applies not only to student loans, but to overdue child support.

Q:

My wife had a student loan, but the school went bankrupt before she could finish the course. She did not get her training and the school kept all tuitions. For the past 17 years when we've filed taxes, the state of Florida has been taking them. The federal government has dismissed the loan, but a company in Florida bought the loan and somehow they got approval to take my tax refund. Can they take my tax refund even if it was incurred before our marriage? How can I make them understand that the student loan has been charged off?

A:

IRS Tax Topic 203 discusses the Treasury Offset Program for past-due obligations. These include amounts owed for child support, federal agency debts and state income tax obligations.

Continue reading "Wife’s student debt is costing husband -- Injured Spouse" »

July 19, 2007

Child Dependency Deductions: Must File Form 8322

I have touched on this issue before. And based on a U.S. Tax Court ruling, the IRS is taking this requirement serious.

As stated on a fellow family law blog, New York Divorce Report:

In order for the non custodial parent to take the dependency deduction, it is essential to file the Form 8332 with the tax return

So, make sure you file the proper forms with your tax return if you are planning to take the deduction. In addition, make sure you discuss this issue with your attorney and have the proper language included in any orders or settlement agreements that each party will execute the necessary forms so you can take the deduction.

What is the difference between mediation and collaborative law?

With all the talk going on right now about collaborative law and mediation, it was great to see my fellow family law blogger, Oklahoma Family Law Blog publish his recent post on the topic. There is a clear difference between the two methods. And this post will help explain the two.

In mediation, there is one 'neutral' who helps the disputing parties try to settle their case. The mediator cannot give either party legal advice, and cannot help either side advocate its position. If one side or the other becomes unreasonable or stubborn, or lacks negotiating skill, or is emotionally distraught, the mediation can become unbalanced, and if the mediator tries to deal with the problem, the mediator is often seen by one side or the other as biased, whether or not that is so. If the mediator does not find a way to deal with the problem, the mediation can break down, or the agreement that results can be unfair. If there are attorneys for the parties at all, they may not be present at the negotiation and their advice may come too late to be helpful.

Collaborative Law was designed to deal more effectively with all these problems, while maintaining the same absolute commitment to settlement as the sole agenda. Each side has quality legal advice and advocacy built in at all times during the process. Even if one side or the other lacks negotiating skill or financial understanding, or is emotionally upset or angry, the playing field is leveled by the presence of the skilled advocates. It is the job of the lawyers to work with their own clients if the clients are being unreasonable, to make sure that the process stays positive and productive.

Source: DivorceNet.com.

Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.

July 16, 2007

A Win-Win Custody Battle Strategy

Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County had a great post today concerning a win-win custody battle strategy which I think all PARENTS should consider. While it is not something new or really all that different, my fellow blogger actually puts it in writing for all to consider. Below is the meat of his post and I would strongly suggest all of those involved in a custody battle consider it.


Instead of limiting yourself to only two options, winning it all or losing, there is another, more productive way to approach the custody issue. The approach may require more maturity than some parties can muster, but, for those able to shift gears, think rationally and be patient, the following approach can be rewarding for them and their children. These steps can lead to a better solution for all, especially the children.

1. Think about, discuss and decide what your ultimate goals are for the kids. What outcomes would you like to see? Many people would want some of the following (or similar) goals:

The kids having a great relationship with both parents
The kids having a great relationship with their extended families
Financial security for the children
Having a safe, secure home for the children
Having good schools for the kids
Providing for a college education for the children
Providing sports opportunities for the children
The opportunity for the kids to learn music, art or other interests

Each parent can decide what he or she thinks would be important goals for their children. Broader, underlying goals are more helpful and meaningful. If both parents think of goals in broad terms, they often can agree on them.

2. Look at the big picture. What are the resources to work with:

Financial abilities of the parents
Parental/family member time available
What homes and schools are available and affordable
What the parents’ neighborhoods are like
The existing relationships between parents and children and the roles each parent plays with the children
What community resources are available
What special needs, if any, a child has
What interests the child has

3. Brainstorm options. Think up as many different solutions as you can. Sometimes it is helpful to get help from a parenting expert. Spend some time and try to be non-traditional or unconventional. Don’t limit yourself to ‘standard’ solutions. Open up your thoughts to come up with some crazy ideas because they might just turn into good ideas.

4. Evaluate your options. See if they can help achieve your identified goals. Criticizing and testing your options can lead to the discovery of other ideas and can help you narrow down the choices until you are left with an idea or ideas that work.

Implementation: This process can helpful if just you do it, but it is really better if you can do it with the other parent. Collaborative Law is one way to accomplish that. This is actually a very common approach to problem-solving in Collaborative Law. Even in traditional litigation, you can use this system alone or together with the other parent. If you work on this alone, you can create a better plan to present in court or in negotiations. If both parents work together through this process, there’s an excellent chance they will reach an agreement that will be satisfactory to both parents and to the children.

Please give this a try and let me know how it works for you!

Source for Post: Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County.

July 06, 2007

Seven Tips for a Better Divorce

There are some actions anyone can take to improve their chances of having a more favorable outcome and avoid some of the problems that occur during a divorce. Seven of the best tips from Texas family law attorney, Dick Price, are listed below:

  1. Be prepared. If you know ahead of time that you will (or may) be going through a divorce, it really pays off for you to gather documents and information about important issues, such as your finances. You may uncover unknown assets or you may just have proof of the existence and values of assets, which would probably help save quite a bit of money.
  2. Plan for changes and be flexible. Realize that your family will become two separate units and that will stretch your resources. You may have to change your short- and long-range goals. In almost every case, someone virtually 'starts over' and often both parties really struggle. Accept the need to compromise and be open to new ways of doing things.
  3. Be honest with your attorney. He or she can’t do nearly as good a job with faulty information. Virtually everything you tell an attorney is confidential, so don’t hold back.
  4. Prepare to use specialists. Attorneys can be very good helping you with the law, facts and procedure, but they often don’t know as much about specialty areas such as taxation as a CPA or divorce financial planner does. The process can move faster and better if you use (as needed) a:
    • Counselor/therapist, if you are sad or mad.
    • Financial planner, if you don’t have much experience in finances.
    • Business valuation expert for small businesses.
    • Child specialist to help find solutions for visitation, child support issues, living arrangements, etc.
  5. Look at the big picture. Don’t get lost in insignificant issues or in keeping score to see who wins the most points. If you start to slip into arguing about tiny issues, make yourself go back up to the broader issues and get your spouse off the small stuff. Focus on the goals, needs and interests that are important to you. It doesn’t matter what your spouse is gaining or claiming to gain or wants to argue about. Leave the small stuff alone and stay true to your essential goals. You will be truly successful if you can achieve your important goals and needs.
  6. Practice 'putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes'. Empathy can really help you in a number of ways. Since 90-95% of divorces settle, negotiations are a major part of any divorce. You can better understand and respond to your spouse’s requests and offers if you understand what important to him or her and what factors will motivate them. Being able to figure out what your spouse is motivated by can help you create settlement options that will be acceptable and even welcome to your spouse.
  7. Reduce conflict. The more you fight, the more it costs. That should be obvious. You can choose to start or continue battles, or you can decide to work for solutions.
Following these tips will improve your chance of success, no matter how you define success. At the least, you should have a divorce with less fighting and more attention to the important issues.

Source:' '7 Tips For a Better Divorce' by Dick Price, published at his Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County blog.

Source for Post: South Carolina Family Law Blog.

July 02, 2007

International Child Visitation

How can one parent stop the other parent from taking a child to visit a dangerous country?

How can a parent make sure that a child will be returned if the other parent takes the child to visit his or her native country?

Many international parents are justifiably becoming increasingly concerned about the answers to these questions.

New York attorney Jeremy D. Morley, of the International Family Law Blog, has just written an article - published in the July 2007 issue of The Matrimonial Strategist and now also available on his website - describing 'Ten Key Tips for Parents' that he has developed as a result of handling these issues for parents around the world.

You can read it here or below.

SOURCE: International Family Law Blog

How can one parent stop the other parent from taking a child to visit a dangerous country? How can a parent make sure that a child will be returned if the other parent takes the child to visit his or her native country? Many international parents are becoming increasingly concerned about the answers to these questions.

Here are Ten Key Tips for Parents that have been developed as a result of handling these issues on a regular basis in collaboration with local family lawyers across the country.

1. Collect hard evidence of the dangers that the proposed visitation presents.

Any parent who opposes overseas visitation, especially to a parent’s country of origin or current domicile, has a heavy burden of proof. Do not underestimate what you need to do to prove your case. You must go to court with very strong evidence already lined up. You have to be fully prepared to show that there is a very real risk — not simply a suspicion or a fear — that your child will not be returned.

2. Collect evidence to show the court that there is a real likelihood that the other parent will not return the child.

So-called ‘red flags’ include the other parent having:

  • Previously abducted or threatened to abduct the child.
  • Taken steps to move toward living in the other country.
  • Citizenship in the other country and strong emotional or cultural ties to it.
  • Friends or family living in the other country.
  • No strong ties to the child’s home state.
  • Financial ties to the other country.
  • No financial reason to return the child.
  • A criminal record.
  • Jealousy or hatred toward the other parent.
  • A history of instability.

3. Demonstrate respect for the rights of the other parent.

While the language of state laws varies — some referring only to the best interests of the child with others including a presumption of joint parenting — American courts invariably encourage and impose shared parenting in one form or another. A parent who inappropriately hinders or obstructs the other parent’s involvement in the child’s life will not be viewed favorably.

4. Do not rely on a country’s poor reputation for corruption or danger.

Do not take it for granted that a court will know that a particular country has an ineffective legal system or that the country is a dangerous place for Westerners. You must present evidence to the court — whether through witnesses or through documents — that will allow the court to make a reasoned conclusion based on real and convincing evidence that the requested visitation should be denied.

5. Be calm, not hysterical.

You may be panic-stricken at the thought of your precious one being taken to another country, but you should not come across as over-the-top. You should be prepared to explain calmly to the court the reasons for your grave concern.

6. You will usually need expert testimony.

Parents who know personally just how dangerous a certain country is often believe that they should simply tell the court their stories about the bad things that have happened to people there. This type of evidence is usually worthless and probably inadmissible. You will typically need to retain well-qualified independent experts who can testify as to their personal knowledge of the issues. Some examples:

  • A mother who had moved here from South America was desperate to prevent the father from having any visitation in that country, fearing that the child would be kidnapped. The testimony of law enforcement experts from that South American country was secured to prove the grave dangers that the child would face there.
  • A father from an Asian country wanted to take the child from the U.S. to visit his other child in his native country. An affidavit of an expert in international child abduction with specific knowledge of the danger of abduction in that country and the inability of the legal system to provide any protection to the child was submitted.
  • A mother wished to take a child to visit her family in Eastern Europe. An expert’s affidavit, establishing the failure of that country to comply with its obligations under the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction, was submitted.

7. Do not take comfort in the mere fact that the child is being taken to a country that is a party to the Hague Convention.

The Convention is a strong international treaty, but countries vary dramatically in their enforcement of it. Countries such as the UK, Australia and New Zealand typically return children promptly and efficiently, but some act much more slowly (Germany and France, for example) and others act at a glacial pace or not at all (e.g., Mexico, Colombia and Austria).

8. Review with your lawyer whether any conditions can be imposed that will ensure that your child will be returned.

The possibility of using conditions is very much a double-edged sword. Many conditions sound good, but they are worth little or nothing in practice. In fact, they can be dangerous because judges may think that by imposing conditions, they have provided real safeguards when, in fact, they have merely facilitated international child kidnapping. Some typical restrictions:

  • Requiring that a mirror order be secured from the overseas country. This means that the U.S. court requires the other parent to secure an order from a court in the country to which the child is to be taken that mirrors the American court order. This is often valuable, but it depends on the country in question. A Western European country will typically enforce such an order; many Asian countries may not do so.
  • Allowing the custodial parent to join the child for the overseas visitation. This is often helpful. However, the ability of the custodial parent to take the child back to the U.S. will depend on the country.
  • Requiring that the parent who takes a child overseas post a substantial bond. This can be extremely useful if the bond is large enough to act as a real deterrent.

9. Do not rely on the other parent’s promises.

They are basically worthless if he or she keeps the child overseas. (However, if one parent puts a promise to return in writing, it may be of some value in future litigation).

10. Do not leave it to the last minute to seek legal protection.

While the courts can usually make emergency orders, it is far better to prepare and submit a case well in advance of the scheduled departure date. In addition, a judge will be less likely to prevent a trip overseas that has been scheduled for a long time.

Source for Post: Georgia Family Law Blog.

June 27, 2007

Avoiding Parenting Plan Mistakes

Not only avoid mistakes, but make sure your plan is as complete as possible. Cover all the basis. Most important in this process is to try to work together in preparing the parenting plan. Both parents will be much more pleased with the plan if they work on this together and not hand over this important process to the judge. The judge will be happy to decide these important issues for you. But, I am almost 100% certain, if you let the judge decide you will not be happy.

Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog for a heads up on this great information.

Many divorced couples find themselves back in court for post-decree litigation simply because of poorly drafted parenting plans. Listed below are some of the most common mistakes and oversights related to parenting plans.

  1. The use of a non-specific parenting schedule (the 'liberal and frequent visitation' clause). The phrase 'liberal and frequent visitation' has no defined meaning in a court of law; the phrase means whatever the custodial parent says it means and is subject to change without notice.

  2. No provision for discussion regarding residential moves by the custodial parent. Move-away disputes are among the most hotly-contested post divorce issues brought to family court, and almost always an issue that a well-written parenting plan could help resolve (or prevent).

  3. No section covering access to and/or the sharing of medical and educational records. Although many States now have laws that address these issues, non-custodial parents still frequently encounter difficulty in obtaining records from local school systems and doctors.

Continue reading "Avoiding Parenting Plan Mistakes" »

Divorce and Taxes

Today's earlier post was all about marriage and taxes. Unfortunately, far too many marriages end in divorce and when this happens, tax issues are relevant once again.

The best advice is to understand the divorce decree and its terms, especially key components that could complicate a tax return, such as:

  • Alimony is taxable and deductible. The person who provides alimony can claim the payments as a deduction, while the person who receives it can avoid a large end-of-year tax bill by paying estimated taxes during the year. Unlike alimony, child support is not deductible or taxable.' '' '
  • Who claims children? The parent who has custody of a child usually can claim the child as a dependent. However, with the custodial parents consent, the parent without custody can claim the child. (The custodial parent may still be able to claim certain tax benefits related to the child, including head of household filing status, the Earned Income Tax Credit, and the child-care credit.)
  • Who is a head of household? There are several factors for determining the head of a household. A few include being considered unmarried on the last day of the year, having children or other dependents who live with you, and paying more than half the cost of providing a home for dependents. Taxpayers should consult with a tax professional to determine if they qualify for head of household status.
  • Divorce, annulment and legal separation are considered the same by the IRS for tax purposes. The way a tax return is affected by the situation depends on how the decree is worded, and in cases where state and federal law differ, the IRS will side with the federal government.

Source: BusinessWire.com.

Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.

June 24, 2007

Divorce Preparation: Step 13 - Be Good

Well, we have finally reached the last step in this series of posts on practical steps to consider when you may be facing divorce.' I will wrap up the series with two more posts to conclude and summarize the series.' But, first, the final step which may seem a bit silly.'

It is simply this: Be Good.

Here is the principle: you are about to be under a microscope.' You are reading this blog, so I assume that you may be facing a divorce and you'd like to that unpleasant process to be as amicable as possible.' Unfortunately, that is not always possible.' Your spouse may not share that objective for some reason.' They may be influenced by others (lawyers, friends, etc.) that convince them that what you are offering is not fair.

So, there is a chance that your case will end up going to trial no matter how diligent you and your lawyer are about trying to work the case out fairly and quickly.' That being said, you should not put ammunition in the gun for your spouse to use against you.

That means no dating, no carousing, and no partying.'If custody may be an issue it means making the children your number one priority (they should be that anyway, right?).' Even things that are perfectly legal and harmless any other time can be twisted to look suspicious or worse in the hands of your spouse’s lawyer.'

Suppose for example that you go out for dinner and drinks with members of the office to celebrate a fellow employee’s birthday.' This sounds harmless enough.' But, in a custody case these questions may be asked: While you chose to go out drinking with your friends, your spouse was at home taking care of the children, correct?' Are you having a romantic relationship with Joe/Jane who was also at the party?' How many drinks did you have that night?' This is something you routinely did during the marriage, isn’t it (i.e. choosing social events over your family)?'You drove home that night under the influence of alcohol didn’t you?'Etc.

You get the point.' This is a silly example, but why even open yourself up to this line of questioning.' Don’t put the judge in the position having to decide whether you are telling the truth that this was a harmless and isolated event.

Spend time with your kids, work, stay around the house, exercise, and attend to your spiritual life.'Be above reproach.' Be Good.' Come to think of it, Its not bad advice whether you are facing divorce or not.

Source for Post: Alabama Family Law Blog.

Collaborative Law: Divorce without War

Collaborative law is a new way to resolve disputes by removing the disputed matter from the litigious court room setting and treating the process as a way to 'trouble shoot and problem solve' rather than to fight and win.

As part of the collaborative law method, both parties retain separate attorneys whose job it is to help them settle the dispute. No one may go to court. If that should occur, the collaborative law process terminates and both attorneys are disqualified from any further involvement in the case.

Each party in the Collaborative law process signs a contractual agreement which include the following terms:

  1. Disclosure of Documents.
    Each party agrees to honestly and openly disclose all documents and information relating to the issues. Neither spouse may take advantage of a miscalculation or an inadvertent mistake. Instead, such errors are identified and corrected.
  2. Respect.
    Each party agrees to act respectfully and avoid disparaging or vilifying any of the participants.
  3. Insulating Children.
    As part of the process all participants agree to insulate the children from the proceeding and to act ins such a way as to minimize the impact of the divorce on them.
  4. Sharing Experts.
    The parties agree to implement outside experts where necessary in a cooperative fashion and share the costs related to those experts. (eg. real estate appraisers, business appraisers, parenting consultants, vocational evaluators, or accountants)
  5. Win-Win Solutions.
    The primary goal of the process is to work toward an amicable solution and to create a 'win-win' situation for all.
  6. No Court.
    Neither party may seek or threaten court action to resolve disputes. If the parties decide to go to court, the attorneys must withdraw and the process begins anew in the court system.

One of the biggest differences in the Collaborative law process is that it recognizes that emotional issues exist that cannot be addressed by the legal system. How often have you heard stories of divorcing parties spending thousands of dollars in legal fees to argue about pets or furniture that has limited monetary value. Generally speaking, the parties in such cases are not arguing about dogs, cats or furniture. Instead, they are reacting to psychological pains that they experiencing These emotional issues that are ignored in the Court process. By contrast, the collaborative law process specifically addresses these issues by bringing them to the forefront and using professionals as part of team approach to find solutions.

A team of professionals is assembled to help the parties understand and resolve their disputes i many different contexts. The disputes maybe legal disputes or emotional and include: mental health counselors/ coaches for each party, neutral financial advisors, accountants, parenting specialists, child specialists, vocational experts, and appraisers, if needed.

A child specialist may play a very important role in the collaborative process. So often, children become the unintended victims in divorce proceedings. They internalize the conflict and often blame themselves for the break up of their family. The child specialist works with children of divorcing parents. It is their job to assist the children in understanding that the parental dispute is not their fault and to teach them how to cope and communicate with their parents. In this way, the children have a voice in the proceedings and become part of the team process.

Financial professionals may be used to help define values of assets. In the litigious court process often redundant appraisals are performed by one expert for each party. The end result is a duplication of services at greater cost and with increased distrust. this often results in an expensive war of experts at trial where each expert testifies regarding their different valuations. In the collaborative process, the parties choose a neutral appraiser that is not associated with either party. With a trust relationship established, the parties agree on some division of cost and agree to be bound by the appraised value.

Most Cases Settle. The Statistics state that more than 90% of all divorce cases are resolved without a trial. In the Court system that resolution often comes more than a year after the divorce was commenced and after many hurtful statements have been made part of the public record in the form of affidavits and motions. Doesn't it make more sense to seek that resolution before the bridges are burned and the missiles are launched in a courtroom? Certainly, collaborative law will not work in every case. After all, it takes two to tango and it takes two willing participants to effectively use the collaborative law process. However, in the cases where collaborative law has been used, even if reluctantly, there have been more rapid settlements at a fraction of the normal cost associated with divorce.

SOURCE: DivorceSource

June 20, 2007

Checklist: Post-Divorce Actions To Take

The divorce is final. You breathe a sigh of relief. No more papers to file, no more documents to complete, no more red tape. Well, not quite. Even after the judgment is entered, there are certain steps that you must take to effectuate the provisions of the divorce decree and make sure that the financial and legal aspects of your life reflect your newly single status. The following checklist can serve as a helpful reminder of what remains to be done. Not every item below may apply to you, but there are surely some listed tasks that require your immediate attention.

____ Divide all property as set forth in the divorce decree.
____ Execute a quitclaim deed to transfer title to real property to your former spouse, and/or make sure that your ex-spouse does the same, as required by the divorce decree.
____ Change the titles to your motor vehicles to reflect the ownership as set forth in the divorce decree.
____ Notify your auto insurer of any changes in automobile drivers, ownership, and addresses.
____ Make sure that your name has been removed from any debts or loans that are no longer your responsibility.
____ If you change your name (such as by reverting to your maiden name) as a result of the divorce, notify all of your creditors of the change.
____ If you move, notify all of your creditors of your change of address.
____ Notify the Social Security Administration of your name change.
____ Apply for a driver's license with your new name on it.
____ Apply for a driver's license with your new address on it.
____ Change your name on your bank accounts and checks, or open new accounts in your name only.
____ Change your address on your bank accounts and checks.
____ Apply for credit in your own name.
____ Remove your former spouse's name from your lease or mortgage.
____ Change the beneficiary on your life insurance policy, if permissible under the divorce decree.
____ Obtain life insurance naming your former spouse and/or children as beneficiaries to ensure continued support if you should die, if required by the divorce decree.
____ Write a new will.
____ Execute all necessary COBRA documents to ensure continued health insurance coverage, or make sure that your ex-spouse has done the same.
____ Make sure that the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is entered and implemented, if required under the divorce decree.
____ Take all other actions required by the divorce decree.
____ Pay all support when due.
____ If you change jobs, notify your new employer of any court-ordered support, if required by law to do so, to effectuate continued automatic withholding.
____

Keep your scheduled visitation times with your children.

Also available in PDF | MS Word

SOURCE: FindLaw

June 19, 2007

How to Keep Your Child Out of the Middle

Dick Price at Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County had this great post. He points out some key points that most divorcing parents forget. First of all, you are parents. And for the best interest of the children, these five points must be considered. While emotions are high for the divorcing parents. Don’t forget that the children also are going through the divorce and as parents, everything must be done to help them through it. And, lets not forget that until the children reach at least the age of 18, you and your ex-spouse will have to work together to raise the children to adulthood.

The following is a brief list of 5 'Don’ts' and a 'Do' that may help avoid such situations.

1. Don’t ask the children to decide. In the heat of family disagreements, it may seem simple or fair to just let the children decide where they want to live, or what visitation schedule they want to follow, etc.; parents may feel that’s like having a neutral person make the decision. Unfortunately, that puts a lot of pressure on the children and sets them up for guilt feelings and/or angry parents.

2. Don’t disparage the other parent or his/her family. This can be by direct comments made to a child or it can be done indirectly, such as comments made to others, but overheard by a child. It can also include body language and gestures that indicate disapproval or other bad opinions of the other parent. A child will likely take such actions or words as an attack on him or her.

3. Don’t argue around the kids. Disagreements are normal, even in well-functioning, intact families. Discussions and arguments between adults should take place just between adults, if at all possible. The kids don’t need to be drawn in or manipulated by the situations.

4. Don’t ask the children about the other parent. It’s not necessary for you to know everything that goes on when your children are with the other parent. Children will often tell about things they enjoyed or about big events, good or bad. Children don’t like being grilled about what happens when they visit their other parent.

5. Don’t use the children as messengers. If you want to send a message to the other parent, talk directly by phone or in person, send a letter or send an email. Kids aren’t always dependable anyway. And if you send a message by the children and then the other parent reacts badly when the message is delivered, the children are likely going to feel that they caused the problem.

Finally, something you can Do:

Do take a co-parenting class, preferably with the other parent. There are several good classes available in this area in person and even on line. I recommend the 'in-person' class because you can learn more and get specific questions answered.

If you can avoid the temptation to put your children in the middle of adult disputes, your children will be happier and you should have better relationships with them (and maybe the other parent as well). If both parents will take a co-parenting class, all of this advice may be unnecessary!"

Source for Post: Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County.

June 16, 2007

Must Read Books For Divorced Dads

With Father’s Day being tomorrow, the Oklahoma Family Law Blog had a great post today providing the following list of books for divorced dads.

Following are four recommended books for fathers dealing with the difficult issues of divorce. Whether you're in the initial stages of divorce, dealing with the immediate aftermath or well past one, these books will provide down-to-earth ideas and strategies you can use to remain an integral of your children's lives.

Always_dad_2 Always Dad: Being a Great Father During & After Divorce by Paul Mandelstein, a divorced father of three and founder of the Father Resource Network.

More and more, divorced fathers are finding out that, rather than being one half of a 'broken' home, they can continue to play a crucial role in their children's lives. You can, too. Turn to Always Dad and discover how to work with your ex to create a fulfilling extended family, one that can help ensure that your kids grow up in an enriching, loving environment.


Liveaway_dads_2 Live-Away Dads: Staying a Part of Your Children's Lives When They Aren't a Part of Your Home by William C. Klatte, a psychotherapist, social worker, and divorced father of two grown daughters who lived with their mother. Klatte begins by advising fathers to take care of themselves, including dealing with anger and depression, good advice for anyone coping with a major life change. He stresses the importance of staying involved with your children despite personal difficulties or the challenges of working with their mother. Later sections deal with cooperation, using the court system, developing parenting skills, and finding support groups.


Divorceddads The Divorced Dad's Survival Book: How to Stay Connected With Your Kids by David Knox, a divorced father of two. With hands-on 'get you through it' plans to help fathers remain positive, involved parents, and personal stories from a variety of home fronts, this invaluable guide illustrates how men can best develop their fathering skills, stay involved with their children, and honestly evaluate their own capabilities as fathers and ex-spouses.






Wednesday_evenings Wednesday Evenings and Every Other Weekend: From Divorced Dad to Competent Co-Parent. A Guide for the Non-Custodial Father by F. Daniel McClure and Jerry B. Saffer. A reader writes 'This book is written in plain english and is brutally honest. You WILL learn how to cope with the situation you are in and how to get so much more from your relationship with your children.'

Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.

June 06, 2007

Divorce Preparation: Step 12 - Consider a PI

The Alabama Family Law Blog is at it again with Step 12 in his series. While the post mentions issues specific to Alabama, it does raise an interesting consideration in a divorce. Should you consider a PI?

We continue our series on practical steps to consider when you are facing an imminent divorce.' We are now on to Step 12 - Consider hiring a private investigator.


Alabama law does consider ‘fault’ when deciding how to divide property in a divorce.' Additionally, depending on the facts, adultery can affect custody determinations.

If your spouse is committing adultery, then you are better off having proof of it then not.' This is the case even where you fully intend to settle your case.' In fact, often having proof of an affair is what gets the case settled at terms that are fair to you.

It is not fun to find out your spouse has cheated, and you may be like many of my clients who have said they would rather not know.' But, you should think carefully before making that decision.' Talk to your lawyer.' Assuming you’ve chosen a good one, listen to their advice.' If you are going to get proof of it, now is the time.' Your lawyer should be able to talk to you about the costs involved (it is not cheap) and how to improve your chances of making the surveillance effective, should you choose to go that route.

Source for Post: Alabama Family Law Blog.

June 02, 2007

Special Report on Collection Violations

Over at the Kansas Creditor Harassment Lawyer we are offering a copy of a special report called, “9 Most Frequent Collections Violations.”

Drop me an email at gdgrifflaw@mac.com for a copy.

May 31, 2007

Are Support Obligations Dischargeable in Bankruptcy?

One of the best blogs for information concenring bankruptcy is the Bankruptcy Law Network. If you don't read this blog, you should. It is packed full of information on bankruptcy, debt and collection. It is compiled by a group of attorneys from all over the country. Recently, there was a post titled “Domestic Support Obligation: Dischargeable in a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy? This is a question I get often in my family law practice and this post does a great job of answering it.

BAPCPA, the new bankruptcy law which went into effect in October 2005, changed many things in the bankruptcy code. One of those things was the treatment of “a domestic support obligation.” That form of debt includes money owed to a spouse, former spouse, child, etc. for child support, to a spouse or former spouse for alimony, or a money obligation incurred in the course of a divorce or separation agreement.

Before BAPCPA, the law specified that you could not discharge child support obligations or alimony in a Chapter 7; you could, however, discharge an obligation owed to a spouse or former spouse under a divorce or separation agreement provided that the obligation was not in the nature of child support or alimony. This type of obligation is often called an equalizing payment, and is paid to the spouse or former spouse to equalize the division of property.

Under the old law, if the debtor didn’t have the ability to pay or if discharging the debt would result in a benefit to the debtor that outweighed the detriment to the spouse or former spouse, it could be listed and discharged. Under the new law, that can’t happen: in a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, the debt is treated as non-dischargeable, and when the bankruptcy is over, the debtor will still owe the money to his or her spouse or former spouse.

This is an issue you MUST discuss with your divorce attorney. If you and your soon to be ex-spouse are heading down the road of having to file for bankruptcy, you might want to consider filing a joint case. You both may be better off in the end.

Divorce Glossary

Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blogfor this great glossary of terms used in divorce.

Following is a glossary of terms and phrases related to divorce and the divorce process.

Alimony.' Financial payments made to help support a spouse or former spouse during separation or following divorce.' Also called spousal support or spousal maintenance.

Alternative dispute resolution (ADR).'Methods of resolving legal disputes without going to trial, in a less adversarial manner, such as through arbitration or mediation.

Arrearage.' The amount of money that is past due for child or spousal support.

Child support.'Money that a non-custodial parent pays to the custodial parent for their child(ren)'s support.

Child support guidelines. Guidelines established by statute or rule in each jurisdiction that set forth the manner in which child support must be calculated, generally based on the income of the parents and the needs of the children.

Continue reading "Divorce Glossary" »

Preparing for Divorce

The Alabama Family Law Blog over the last few months has been running a series of articles about preparing for divorce:
I have posted each of them here. However, below is an index to each one with a link to the original post. This has been a great series packed with very useful information.

Step 1 - Find a Wise Guide

Step 2 - Make an accounting of the family finances

Step 2A - Determine what you own

Step 2B - Determine what you owe

Step 2C - Determine Income

Step 3 - Make photocopies of all the financial records

Step 4 - Prepare a budget (or two)

Step 5 - Document & Safeguard Personal Property

Step 6 - Establish your own credit

Step 7 - Assess the Financial Accounts

Step 8 - Address the Credit Accounts

Step 9 - Avoid additional debt or major purchases

Step 10 - Stay Put (until further notice)

Step 11 - Keep a diary


May 26, 2007

Online Tools for Divorce Parents

One of the biggest problems divorce parents have, has to be communication and knowing what is going on in their child’s life. And, every once in a while, I come across a tool that seems to help with that problem. JointParents.com is such a tool.

One parent made the following comment, "Using this site helps me stay organized. I now have one place for my child's events, ex's expenses, and all kinds of other important information."

The tools available on this site help with co-parenting, child scheduling, expense tracking, virtual visitation, discussions and sharing photos. Check it out and if there are any of you using it, please post your comments here.

Winkelman: Parents have enforceable rights under the IDEA

The U.S. Supreme Court issued its decision in Winkelman v. Parma City School District today - you can read the full decision here. The 7-2 decision was written by Justice Kennedy. The problem in this case started when Jacob Winkelman’s parents sued their school district in an attempt get the education to which their autistic son was entitled. Remember, under the IDEA every child is entitled to FAPE - free and appropriate public education.

To read more go to the Mental Disability Law Blog. And while you are there put her feed in your RSS feeder or bookmark this great blog. If you are a parent of a special needs child, you owe it to yourself to know about this great blog.

May 21, 2007

Divorce Preparation: Step 11 - Keep a diary

The Alabama Family Law Blog is continuing his wonderful series on Divorce Preparation. In this step, Michael mentioned advise I always give my clients in a contested matter. Keep a journal. Not only will it help the client, but it helps their attorney.

This post continues are series on practical steps to take when a divorce is imminent.' We are now on Step 11: Keep a diary/calendar

It is important to documents all of the major events that occur until the divorce is final.' Your lawyer will likely want your help in reconstructing a chronology (a list in order by date) of the major events that led to the filing of the divorce.' Additionally, you should begin keeping careful records of new events and incidents as they occur.' Simply note the date, what happened and any witnesses that may have observed it.' In the unfortunate event that your case drags on, events will begin running together and your memory may fail you.' Don't rely on it.'

Instead, keep an ongoing diary.' Then provide this to your lawyer periodically so he is aware of any significant facts in your case.'

I should note that you really should discuss this recommendation with your lawyer before implementing it.' Some lawyers may not want you to have an ongoing record like this because it could be obtained by the other lawyer during the discovery phase of the trial (something that could have a negative effect on your case).' Or, they may want you to take certain steps to attempt to protect it from begin discoverable by the opposing lawyer.' These are technical legal issues beyond the scope of this blog.' Suffice it to say that you need to talk this over with your lawyer first.

Source for Post: Alabama Family Law Blog.

Kansas adopts The Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act

The Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act – which includes some specific provisions designed to prevent international child abduction – was signed into law in Kansas on April 6, 2007. Kansas is the fourth state to enact it, along with Nevada, Nebraska and South Dakota. Bills to adopt the new law have been introduced in at least five other legislatures -- Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, South Carolina, Utah, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

May 17, 2007

Drafting Qualified Domestic Relations Orders

The U.S. Department of Labor provides a great list of frequently asked questions concerning Drafting Qualified Domestic Relations Orders. Included in the answers are sites to the section of ERISA associated with the QDRO.

In addition you can find information about Qualified Domestic Relations Orders.

Both links provide some good information concerning such Orders.

When Bankruptcy Meets Divorce

Just over two years ago, President George W. Bush signed the Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act (BAPCPA) of 2005, which became effective Oct. 17, 2005. If you are getting divorced, this new bankruptcy law could concern you. Reason: While you may not realize it, in this country, our high divorce rate and bankruptcy commonly intersect.

Here’s how. Until the enactment of the BAPCPA, the bankruptcy process was seen by some, and used by many, as a tool to permanently evade (or, to use bankruptcy terminology, ‘discharge’) family obligations foisted upon them by agreement or court order after a marital dissolution. Plus, once a person filed a bankruptcy petition--for liquidation under Chapter 7 or reorganization under Chapter 13 (or, less commonly, Chapter 11)--he gained the protection of an ‘automatic stay,’ preventing creditors from taking any actions against him, his income or his property to collect their debts.

Continue reading "When Bankruptcy Meets Divorce" »

Home Schooling and Child Custody Determinations in Oklahoma

I realize this is an Oklahoma legal issue that just recently came up. However, with more and more parents home schooling, it will only be a matter of time before it reaches Kansas. Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog for the heads up on this issue.

Homeschool In making custody decisions, Oklahoma law prohibits a judge from giving a preference or a presumption for or against home schooling, private schooling, or public schooling.' 'See 43 O.S. 112 (C)(4).

The home-schooling issue was addressed in the case of Stephen v. Stephen. There, the parties were granted an uncontested divorce with the mother being awarded custody of their two boys. Several years later, mom quit her job to educate the boys at home. In response, dad filed a motion to modify custody alleging that mom was not qualified to teach the children, and that a home-school education was not in their best interests.

During a five-day hearing, the evidence showed that the children responded well to home schooling, they tested well in the Iowa test, and the mother was an excellent and insightful teacher. However, the trial transcript clearly shows that the judge was openly biased against home schooling. In fact, while stating' that the children were probably better off with mom, the judge held that mom was not qualified to educate her children at home. The trial court went on to find that mom's home schooling was a substantial change of circumstances adversely affecting the best interests of the children. Unbelievably, the judge ruled that unless mom placed the children in public school, custody would be awarded to dad.

Can you say 'abuse of discretion?' The Oklahoma Supreme Court said exactly that when it found that the trial judge's bias against home schooling caused the judge to rule in a manner clearly against the weight of the evidence.

The appellate court noted the substantial evidence regarding dad's drinking problem, that dad had to be taken to court once to collect past due child support, that dad did not regularly visit the boys until after he filed his motion to change custody, that dad did not keep his appointments when he did promise to visit them, and that when he had them at his home for visitation he left them alone during the day and checked on them by phone. In contrast, mom who had had custody of the boys for eight years, gave up a $50,000 a year job to stay home to give the boys a better education and more behavioral supervision than she believed that they were receiving in the public school system.

Thank God for courts of appeal. At least on this occasion, a wrong was righted and justice prevailed.

Source for Post: Oklahoma Family Law Blog.

How Much Is a Stay at Home Mom Worth?

According to the mom pay wizard calculator at Salary.Com, the typical stay at home mother works 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime for a total of 92 hours a week.

Mothers perform ten jobs at home, namely:

  • cook
  • housekeeper
  • day care center teacher
  • laundry machine operator
  • van driver
  • facilities manager
  • janitor
  • computer operator
  • chief executive officer
  • psychologist
Salary.Com also says it would take $138,095 a year to buy those services if she did not perform them.

Source for Post: Maryland Divorce Legal Crier.

Divorce Preparation: Step 10 - Stay Put (until further notice)

We are nearing the end of our series on practical steps to take when you are facing an imminent divorce.' We have reached Step 10 - Stay Put (until further notice).

One of the most common questions I am asked by my clients is whether they can move out of the house.' In most cases my answer to them is to stay put.' It is not the answer most of my clients want.

I know that things are stressful.' I know that they will likely get worse before they get better. Unfortunately, there are several reasons to avoid leaving.'The most important ones are the following:

1. It could jeopardize your custody claim.' If you end up in a custody dispute, then if you leave the house and the children remain there with your spouse you will almost guarantee that you will not receive primary custody.' If the case becomes contested, it could drag out for many months (even a year or two).'' If your spouse has had primary physical custody that entire time and you’ve had alternate weekend visitation, then unless your spouse has made major mistakes in the interim, they will likely maintain primary custody.

2.' It could affect your property interests.' You’ve moved out.' Your spouse pays the mortgage the entire time the case is pending.' Some judges may factor that in when making the property division.

3. You will lose leverage in the negotiations.'This is big.' You want the divorce.' Your spouse doesn’t.' You decide you have to get out of the house.' You move to an apartment and are paying your rent and the home mortgage.' Now under the Pre-trial Status Quo Order you may be required to keep paying it as long as the case is pending.' You have just given your spouse a major incentive to drag out the litigation.' I see it happen all the time.' Eventually you decide to settle for much worse terms because you can’t keep paying for two households.' Do not make this mistake.

Moving out of the house can have dramatic effects on the case.' Do not do it without discussing it with your lawyer and giving it a great deal of thought.' You should know, also, that some judges will consider a motion for temporary possession of the residence pending the trial.' This varies dramatically from county to county (and sometimes even from judge to judge) so you will want to discuss it with your lawyer.

It goes without saying that if domestic violence is an issue, then all of this is moot.' You will need to take whatever steps you must to protect yourself.' Just make sure you let your lawyer know what is going on.' In the case of domestic violence, your lawyer may actually be able to have your spouse removed from the house.


Source for Post: Alabama Family Law Blog.

"Common Sense" Themes in Divorce Cases

Here is a great post from the South Carolina Family Law Blog

There are certain truths in all family court cases -- no matter how famous the parties involved or in which state the case is filed.' For instance, James E. McGreevey, the former governor of New Jersey, is going through a 'contentious' divorce.' Last Friday, the judge in that case urged the McGreeveys to use ‘common sense’ during their split.

The New York Times article about their divorce case illustrates the following common themes:

  • Judges want parents to use ‘common sense’
  • Judges want parents to facilitate age-appropriate activities
  • Judges want parents to minimize the potential effects of the proceedings and the parental conflict on the child
  • Judges focus primarily on parenting skills, not side issues like sexual orientation
  • Judges don’t like parents accusing each other of every imaginable error or misdeed
  • Judges don’t want to micromanage a child’s life
  • Judges will employ methods to reduce conflict and to help resolve child-related disputes, such as the appointment a parenting coordinator
Sources:' 'Judge Wants Common Sense Used in McGreeveys’ Divorce' published in The New York Times and 'Learning From the Contentious Divorce of Former Governor James E. McGreevey' by David C. Sarnacki, published at his Domestic Diversons blog.

Source for Post: South Carolina Family Law Blog.

Divorce Preparation: Step 9 - Avoid additional debt or major purchases

I have been posting the continued series from the Alabama Family Law Blog Divorce Preparation. It is a great series and I am honored to provide it to you here also.

We continue our series on practical steps to take when you are about to face divorce.' We are now to step 9 which is simple, but important:

Avoid additional debt or major purchases

This suggestion goes hand in hand with assessing how to handle the credit accounts, but deserves its own separate mention.' If a divorce is going to happen, you want to be conservative with the finances.' It is not time to be putting in a pool, buying a new car, or buying new furniture on credit.' You want to simplify the financial situation not make it more complex.'

When the divorce occurs, one of the primary things that has to happen is for the divorce court to allocate who will be responsible for what debts.' Generally speaking, the less complex the debt situation, the easier task that will be.

I should note again, all of this is general information.' Your own specific situation may cause you to need to vary from it.' For example, there are times when you may have to get an automobi